I know this feeling all too well. It’s like running into an invisible wall which you cannot understand logically but can feel its overpowering presence. That is how I would like to describe feeling stuck in life.
No one ever plans to get stuck, did you? Initially you took a small detour, a compromise to get started, then some time passed and before you knew it you were completely off course and now you are struggling to get back to the original plan you had envisioned.
What does it mean when you feel like you’re stuck?
I have listened to so many of my friends and clients describing that feeling of being stuck in life in different ways:
- I just can’t seem to start my weight loss journey no matter how badly I want to
- I know that I am unhappy at my current job but I don’t know what to do about it
- I don’t enjoy reading and writing the way I used to before
- I feel I am going to be at this shitty job for the rest of life. I am destined for this only!
- Getup – Breakfast – Kids – Inlaws – Lunch – Dinner – Kids – Husband – Sleep – Repeat, the story of my life in one line
- I feel like I am living the same day, everyday
- No matter what I do, I feel bored and empty
- Starting something new (hobby / job / learning new skill) is damn difficult for me. I just don’t feel motivated
- I feel directionless in my life. I don’t know what I am doing or why!?
- I feel lost. I had dreams, plans, ambition and now I don’t know where everything went
If you resonate with two or more of the above statements then, my friend, you are feeling stuck in life.
Could this “feeling stuck in life” be something more – maybe. But, please, do not rush there just yet. Before you go on a wild goose chase and spiral down the rabbit hole of all the possibilities that the internet can cough up, do remember that there is no wonderland waiting for you at the end. So, hold on to your horses, just take a step back and breathe.
Do this now as you are reading – Breath in, to the count of four – hold the breath, to the count of four – breath out, to the count of eight – hold your breath, to the count of two. Repeat it two more times.
I sincerely hope you did the calming breathwork. It is a super handy technique that you can use anytime and anywhere to quickly gather yourself.
What causes a person to become stuck?
You have realised you are in a rut. Good! What happens next – the logical mind starts whirling and showsh, there it goes looking for that elusive answer – WHY!?
Why, How, When… the pursuit of answers for ego and logic rarely fulfills the emotional needs of the self.
Please do not get me wrong, you can and should work with a counselor or a therapist to understand your rut, to understand its roots. It will give you a lot of clarity and figure out what is causing the discontent in you in a relatively shorter span of time.
What I want to say is that, feeling stuck in life is more of feeling, an emotion, a cry for help. Feeling stuck comes from a realization that you are in a place or with a person in your life for quite some time and in reality when it started out, you didn’t see yourself being there for such a long time.
Feeling stuck in life comes from this lack of flow in your life. Your plans, dreams, goals, ambition, emotions, creativity have stopped flowing and you are unable to create the life you had set out for. You are unhappy or in denial or both.
What to do when feeling stuck in life?
That is always the first step. To acknowledge that you have forgotten yourself. Acknowledge that you need help.
Acknowledge that something inside you wants you to break free and do something different. Do something more. Live more. Laugh more. Sing and dance more. Write more. Meet new people or old friends a bit more.
Recognize that you allowed yourself to drift away from your dreams and goals.
Concede that you allowed yourself to become isolated and distant.
One of the thickest chains imprisoning you to that feeling stuck in life, is your denial and fear. You have compromised with yourself. You have become okay with not living your dreams. You have become accustomed to this off course life.
Acknowledge that you have drowned the inner voice and that strong feeling which wants you to break free with logic and denial.
You have stopped expressing yourself the way you wanted to. Recognize that you trained yourself to not give priority and nurture to your dreams, needs, and wants.
Possibly, you have stopped loving yourself!
Let it sink in. This is first step to come out of “Feeling Stuck in Life”
How do you get out being stuck?
There are many good advices on getting out of feeling stuck in life that you can find on the internet. Hundreds of blogs and videos across the internet trying to bring value and knowledge at your finer tips. So, it safe to say that lack of knowledge is not a problem in today’s day and age. What I have realized is what most people want, is help to get it done. You know, you understand academically, logically, what you need to do to get out of feeling stuck in life but the problem is that you just don’t feel it or do it when you get the chance.
Every time you have a chance to do something to break your rut, you choose something else. Isn’t it so!?
You may have read quite a few articles till now and all the advice looks great on paper. Doable too. So, why is it so difficult for you, you wonder, how can I get out of your head and start living what I have been wanting badly. That is why is said at the very start of the post, an invisible wall.
I believe the following 3 secrets can be a great starting point of your journey back to yourself – to get out of feeling stuck in life.
Practice Rebirthing Breathwork
Managing your emotions and feelings is crucial to fixing “feeling stuck in life” complex. Emotions are subtler than our thoughts and logic. That is why they exert so much more power than words and logic.
When you are emotionally overwhelmed have you noticed how nothings seems to work – no explanation, no logic, no reasoning. All you want to do is to get out, be alone, and clear your head.
Truth is, when you say you want to clear of your head in reality you just want to give time for your emotions to come back down. And it happens, with time and space but its not the same. You are not fully back to the space of serenity and are very much vulnerable to be easily triggered.
The best way to manage and sooth emotions is to use our life-force energy, our prana. Breathwork is an amazing way to tap into prana around us, within us and use it to heal ourself.
Rebirthing breathwork is a special type of breathwork which is intuitive, connected, rhythmic, and gentle. It activates your life-force energy, your prana and starts releasing the energy of the emotions that you are carrying. It is practiced by millions of people around the world. It is safe and pleasurable.
Feeling stuck in life issues become much easier to overcome once you have emotionally calmed down. Having found your serenity and center, your thoughts flow, clarity dawns, and you are filled with energy and enthusiasm
Find your Ikagai
When we put together the Japanese words iki, meaning life and gai, meaning value or worth, ikigai is essentially about finding your purpose in life.
You have to shift your attention from despair to hope. You must look forward to something you love and enjoy. And, you notice that is one quadrant of the Ikagai. If that is something you are struggling with, no purpose in life, then you need to start working with the process of elimination. Start removing options from your career and relationship which you are sure are not going to fix that feeling stuck in life issue.
Now, your reaction is most probably be, what the heck man?? I am struggling here and you want me to find something as elusive as purpose of life.
And my answer to that is, Yes. But not in a random adhoc way scribbling away on piece of paper rather in a structured manner. Part of the process is to slow down. Reassess your priorities.
Use the diagram above to structure your thoughts and make list.
Doing something you love, the world needs, you are good at it and you get paid for it is a sure shot of finding motivation. A sense of purpose has been the catalyst in all the accomplishments that have had a huge impact on our world.
Researchers have discovered that having a purpose, doing something you love, have something to look forward to helps you cope with your feeling stuck in life issue
You must have heard of a saying
“Even a thousand miles journey begins with one step”
That is true even when you are trying to get out feeling stuck in life. You journey is going to slow, inconsistent, and fraught with obstacles. Obstacles like inferiority complex, your fears, your belief system.
Rewarding yourself for every step you take. A simple pat on the back as you look in the mirror does wonders to your self esteem. You may want to ignore this technique as ridiculous but give it time and it grows on you. We are hard wired for appreciation.
Rewarding yourself is a way of telling your subconscious mind – you did the right thing. Great going buddy, you are on the right path.
It creates a positive reinforcement and positive self image which are super crucial if you want to get out feeling stuck in life.